she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
