Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
