I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize