can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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