You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
