Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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