Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
