I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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