I'm lost and stupid without you.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
