i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
