at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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