I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
