And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
is wine microwaveable?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
