Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
we're chasing vodka with high fives
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
