i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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