I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
