I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
MIDGETS
????
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
