i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
