i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
