I can tuck mytits in my pants
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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