My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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