She's JV to your varsity
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
