well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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