my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
