According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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