I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm passing your future prison.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
