Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
