Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
