i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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