My Higher Power is John Stamos
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
