ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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