Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
