well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
