I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
