Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
