Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You've changed since you got that strap on
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
