When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
