He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
