He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
