It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
