I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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