I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
