fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
