Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
