My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
