my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
