you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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