I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
23 Ladies Who Have Mastered The Art Of Squirting
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.