you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
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Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
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Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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