I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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