is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My dick has a subreddit
My vagina is very pro this idea
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
