the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She told me I should be a condom model.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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