great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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