I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
