okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
