Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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